Where have I been you ask? ugh. where haven't i been... back n for to Florida for the last 3 months or so.
The last two months has been the most difficult time of my life. I honestly don't know how I got through it all. How was I even able able to get up every day and face the world without breaking down. Honestly I didn't have a choice but to be strong. Seeing my mother die forced my to reach a different level that I didn't think I would have to see anytime soon. I still get people coming up to me telling me how strong I am and how they wouldn't be able to walk around and act as if nothing is bothering me. But I didn't feel like pouring out my heart to everyone that I saw... ugh. But I'm alright yallz. She's in a much better place. : ) N I will see my mommy again I know. But every once in a while I get a little upset. Questioning why did she have to leave so soon, thinking damn... we needed her. Selfish I know... But honestly she was the back bone for MOST of our family. Now I don't consider most of these phony folks to be any type of family to me. Soo much
drama went down... and alot of people that were supposed to be close was no where to be found. BITCHES... Anywho. I Literally erased 89% of them from my memory... including some of my immediate family members. Mean some might say... but honestly I dont give a fuck. Why should I?? Folks don't give a damn about me... so : ) i don't give a fuck about folks. I love my daddy... and him and my brothers is all I got. LITERALLY! Miss my mother. Every morning she would be the first to call... just checking to make sure that I'm keeping out of trouble... and just saying hello. Every day I think about how much she influenced my life. If I really sit down and think about how her death really impacted me... I honestly might not ever get up... I just have to remain strong and get through it the best way I know how. But I know everything happens for a reason so ill just be looking for that reason...
