Realistically speaking, I cant honestly say when shyt happens im not completely surprised. I think everything thru to the 10th power. Just to make sure that if something bad does happen I cant say that I didnt expect it, or I didnt think that it was possible. Damn, I was right. But I guess I gotta calm down a little a realize that everybody got human in them, even if they seem perfect. Same goes for me. Different nigga. Same plot. Just this time im on the other end. Anywho....that was so freakin private there is no way someone could understand that. Give him a break is what MeMe say.... but what does she know? Ugh.... im not even going to get on that! Setting in mah room watching The Color Purple. Thinking to my self how it was so fuxked up how Ms.Celie told Hop'O to to beat Sophia. "You told Hop'O to beat me?!" " You keep giving your son in law advice like you do, here Ms.Celie!" lol. It kills me everytime! I practically know all the lines in the movie. It always gets me thinking. Thinking about those days when me and my sister used to be friends. How we used to talk on the phone for hours when she was away at college. How I used tell her everything. Over the years we kinda grew apart. I know she miss me though. Every once in a while she text me, and say something stupid like, " Buy me a purse and mail it to me" or " My boo say he miss you". Little stuff like that makes me smile. Even though we bump heads alot I know she will always be there for me. There is a big difference between friends and sisters. You cant get rid of them. I would fight for my sister even if she was wrong. Y? Because I know she will do the same for me! We love each other is a different type of way. Look at Ms. Celie and see how she held on to the good time her and her sister shared. Even the games they played. Watching it sometime makes me cry.... I feel like Nettie. Far from home and loving your sister and she doesn't even know. Thinking about her, and her not even knowing how your doing. I know one of these days we will reunite and be happy again. Family is a bond that is undescribable. Its funny how God chooses the people in your people. In life there are so many people that you just wonder why are they in your life, what is the purpose, and should you get rid of them. In life it's hard to choose to your battles. Sometime you want to just say fuxk everything and just say ugh! whats the use?! I wish I just had a button that flashes every time when I should hold on to something! That will be very helpful. So I wouldn't be looking like a fool when shyt happens. If any your my friend on myspace or facebook youll notice that my status is constantly saying that im meditating. Just irating on things that I cant get off my mind. Went to church this morning. (Church and talking to family are the only this that gets me back to a healthy place) So today they ordained me to be a teacher for the children. Not so sure how to handle it. It's a little weird. They prayed for me and said that my children would be blessed. Not sure how to take that either. But I guessed I accepted the blessing, and thanked God for the proclamation on my life. I want kids, but honestly im scared to have any. It's so many crazy people in the world I dont want to mess around and fall in love with the wrong person and my babies have a crazy daddy. I the thought of it drives me crazy. Somebody once told me that when I do decided to have kids, I will know who I want to have them with. God I hope I make the right decisions so my kids wouldn't be affected. I want to make sure that the are fully aware of the world and all of it faults. Be aware of sex, world hunger, all religions and cultures. Shyt...anything! I want them to be intelligent human beings and make a difference in the world. I will tell them about me and my childhood and allll the stupid mistakes I made that got me to where I am now. I want them to be influential in their society, and have their peers look up to them. I want them to own businesses and help others, and do the same for their kids. So what happens if you find somebody that is incredible and the perfect person for you? Do you believe in love at first sight? All i know is that I believe in love, whether it be at last sight, or first. I am a handful, and when you do get to know me it alot you have to love or hate. It's alot inside of me. It just takes a certain type of person to bring it out. So is he that person? Or did he find that person already and he's just denying it? Who am I to say that he didn't? I want him to be happy and be living completely free at all times in complete freedom. Freedom to love whoever he wants and being in love without regret. So as I figure out my ana-tum-me, ill wait until he finds out his. What do I have to lose? Perfect Contribution to the community. Yep I did me community service project for the week. DOing whats good for me! ME! ME! ME! Like Keisha Kole momma (Frankie) say...."AT THE END OF THE DAY".....it all about finding out the Ana-Tum-Me of Miss DeenSha Hen (The Artist also know as Polish).Sunday, March 30, 2008
Ana-Tum-ME
Realistically speaking, I cant honestly say when shyt happens im not completely surprised. I think everything thru to the 10th power. Just to make sure that if something bad does happen I cant say that I didnt expect it, or I didnt think that it was possible. Damn, I was right. But I guess I gotta calm down a little a realize that everybody got human in them, even if they seem perfect. Same goes for me. Different nigga. Same plot. Just this time im on the other end. Anywho....that was so freakin private there is no way someone could understand that. Give him a break is what MeMe say.... but what does she know? Ugh.... im not even going to get on that! Setting in mah room watching The Color Purple. Thinking to my self how it was so fuxked up how Ms.Celie told Hop'O to to beat Sophia. "You told Hop'O to beat me?!" " You keep giving your son in law advice like you do, here Ms.Celie!" lol. It kills me everytime! I practically know all the lines in the movie. It always gets me thinking. Thinking about those days when me and my sister used to be friends. How we used to talk on the phone for hours when she was away at college. How I used tell her everything. Over the years we kinda grew apart. I know she miss me though. Every once in a while she text me, and say something stupid like, " Buy me a purse and mail it to me" or " My boo say he miss you". Little stuff like that makes me smile. Even though we bump heads alot I know she will always be there for me. There is a big difference between friends and sisters. You cant get rid of them. I would fight for my sister even if she was wrong. Y? Because I know she will do the same for me! We love each other is a different type of way. Look at Ms. Celie and see how she held on to the good time her and her sister shared. Even the games they played. Watching it sometime makes me cry.... I feel like Nettie. Far from home and loving your sister and she doesn't even know. Thinking about her, and her not even knowing how your doing. I know one of these days we will reunite and be happy again. Family is a bond that is undescribable. Its funny how God chooses the people in your people. In life there are so many people that you just wonder why are they in your life, what is the purpose, and should you get rid of them. In life it's hard to choose to your battles. Sometime you want to just say fuxk everything and just say ugh! whats the use?! I wish I just had a button that flashes every time when I should hold on to something! That will be very helpful. So I wouldn't be looking like a fool when shyt happens. If any your my friend on myspace or facebook youll notice that my status is constantly saying that im meditating. Just irating on things that I cant get off my mind. Went to church this morning. (Church and talking to family are the only this that gets me back to a healthy place) So today they ordained me to be a teacher for the children. Not so sure how to handle it. It's a little weird. They prayed for me and said that my children would be blessed. Not sure how to take that either. But I guessed I accepted the blessing, and thanked God for the proclamation on my life. I want kids, but honestly im scared to have any. It's so many crazy people in the world I dont want to mess around and fall in love with the wrong person and my babies have a crazy daddy. I the thought of it drives me crazy. Somebody once told me that when I do decided to have kids, I will know who I want to have them with. God I hope I make the right decisions so my kids wouldn't be affected. I want to make sure that the are fully aware of the world and all of it faults. Be aware of sex, world hunger, all religions and cultures. Shyt...anything! I want them to be intelligent human beings and make a difference in the world. I will tell them about me and my childhood and allll the stupid mistakes I made that got me to where I am now. I want them to be influential in their society, and have their peers look up to them. I want them to own businesses and help others, and do the same for their kids. So what happens if you find somebody that is incredible and the perfect person for you? Do you believe in love at first sight? All i know is that I believe in love, whether it be at last sight, or first. I am a handful, and when you do get to know me it alot you have to love or hate. It's alot inside of me. It just takes a certain type of person to bring it out. So is he that person? Or did he find that person already and he's just denying it? Who am I to say that he didn't? I want him to be happy and be living completely free at all times in complete freedom. Freedom to love whoever he wants and being in love without regret. So as I figure out my ana-tum-me, ill wait until he finds out his. What do I have to lose? Perfect Contribution to the community. Yep I did me community service project for the week. DOing whats good for me! ME! ME! ME! Like Keisha Kole momma (Frankie) say...."AT THE END OF THE DAY".....it all about finding out the Ana-Tum-Me of Miss DeenSha Hen (The Artist also know as Polish).
